How to handle WoW distracted player

97 posts / 0 new
Last post
I have a player that is majorly into World of Warcraft. He raids most nights, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday being the most important nights. Our Group decided on Wednesday nights (7pm-9pm) a year ago to be the night we play (we play weekly 2 hour, single encounter sessions). This player started off fine, but quickly began leaving at 8:30 pm to make it home in time for raids. This we have dealt with for so long that it was just a minor annoyance. 3 Weeks ago this player was snowed in, so I setup a webcam to have him in the game. It was obvious that he was playing WoW on his PC while we were playing D&D. This week is the third week in a row now that he wants to play via webcam. My original intention with the webcam was emergency situations, we are all adults and things happen. It was not intended to have the game play second fiddle to WoW.

He says he does this to do house chores, but that is not what is happening (and these could really happen any other day). 

It is odd because the player seems devoted to the story and his character. He has purchased more books then most players and really gets into it, just as long as it does not interupt WoW.

Any thoughts or suggestions?
That's a tough situation to handle.  I know I've had to deal with a few of my players having gaming addictions.

From the looks of it, he is putting WoW over your game when he can, and it is not fair to you or your group that he leaves early to catch a raid.  I recommend just talking to him (preferably outside of session time) about it and see how he feels.  You could recommend having him get to his raids later (unless he happens to be in a guild that is strict on time when it comes to big raids).

Its up to you how to resolve the situation, but I think talking to him is a good start.
He wants to play D&D with you; he really does. It's just that he feels that his WoW time is more important. He isn't being selfish. Quite the contrary, actually. If he is a serious raider, there are 24 other people that depend on him to be playing at his fullest, and it's highly likely that these D&D days are interfering either directly or indirectly (for example, if he needs to farm for consumables or what have you) with his rigid raiding schedule.

What you need to do is either move your schedule around to accomodate his tight raiding limits, or quite simply kick him out of the group. If your friend is like any WoW player I know, there is no way he will abandon his guild, even for a short while, to play with you. Even if he does, he is going to be ansy about it, and he probably won't be able to really get into D&D while he has WoW on the mind.

You said it very clearly yourself; he is extremely devoted to D&D, as long as it does not interrupt WoW. What you are doing by having gaming nights fall on raiding nights is forcing him to choose between two things that he most likely really wants to do, but logically he can't do both. It's not addiction; it's responsibility. He feels responsible for the success of his raiding team, and he also feels responsible for the success of the D&D party. Stop making him try to do both, and stop making him feel the need to choose between one or the other. Either switch everyone's schedule around to accomodate him, or tell him he doesn't have to participate if his raiding schedule is so demanding.
In 99.9% of situations involving some measure of dissatisfaction over 4th Edition, the victims are just buttsore that "race/class/build/etc. X" doesn't have "convoluted mechanic Y" in order to accomplish "superfluous effect Z". Confessions of a Mustard Addicted Psychopath
I can't have players at the table playing other games while I'm trying to run a D&D game.  I certainly couldn't have a player at my table with a laptop playing WoW at the same time as our D&D game was running.

If WoW is that important to him, you may need to let him go.  Definitely talk to him about the issue.  I know how WoW players are... I used to be one.  Raid schedules are like the holy grail, getting them changed upsets a large group of players in the guild but it's worth a shot.
I have a player that is majorly into World of Warcraft. He raids most nights, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday being the most important nights. Our Group decided on Wednesday nights (7pm-9pm) a year ago to be the night we play (we play weekly 2 hour, single encounter sessions). This player started off fine, but quickly began leaving at 8:30 pm to make it home in time for raids. This we have dealt with for so long that it was just a minor annoyance. 3 Weeks ago this player was snowed in, so I setup a webcam to have him in the game. It was obvious that he was playing WoW on his PC while we were playing D&D. This week is the third week in a row now that he wants to play via webcam. My original intention with the webcam was emergency situations, we are all adults and things happen. It was not intended to have the game play second fiddle to WoW.

He says he does this to do house chores, but that is not what is happening (and these could really happen any other day). 

It is odd because the player seems devoted to the story and his character. He has purchased more books then most players and really gets into it, just as long as it does not interupt WoW.

Any thoughts or suggestions?



Tell him to come to your gaming location.

Simple, clean and to the point.

It's a lack of respect issue for you, and a time management issue for him. How would you feel if I played a video game during a d&d session? It's not good for you and neither is it for the group.

He may have "responsibilities" to his guild group, that's fine, but he needs to make a choice. If he is in a "hardcore" raiding guild, this may explain his behavior. He will be "punished" by his guild group because he is "letting down" his guildmates who wish to raid with him.

If that is the case, please tell him to step down from the raid on the day you play on.

Happy Dm'ing
Mikaleon


On the first day gaming, my DM gave to me,one Vorpal Sword.
My group also has very short sessions. I can't imagine having a player play remotely does anything good for the speed at which you play. Next session I would see how everyone feels about an alternate night, you might find more than one player is happy to change. If that doesn't work though, let him know that having him play over the webs is not optimal and ask him to commit to your game. Let him know how important it is to have him there. If he can't change his Wednesday nights and your group can't change their gaming night, then he will need to decide between the two.

I hope it resolves well. WoW can be pretty engrossing, and it will be an especially difficult choice if he enjoys the socialization he gets online.

Good luck!
Meshon
I'd see about moving your schedule actually.

Raiding in Wow takes alot of time, and a group effort. At least if you are hardcore about it.

Yeah I know *Gasp* evil cpt siding with the evil wow.  But really, I think that's the best solution. Is there no other night you guys can just get together? What about Tuesday? Or  Fridays?
http://guild.medialoungeca.com/index.php?action=forum The Guild I'm apart of. We're in WOW, STO, Rift and soon Star Wars feel free to register and hang out. http://sparkster11.deviantart.com/ my deviantart Wheelman of the House of Trolls, "I love it when you watch" Carrier of Section 2, 3 and 6 cargo. Resident Driver Stud God of Transportation and Lust.
I would tell him that if he is at our table, he is at our table. If he wants his WoW on Wednesdays, then he can play that instead. But we don't want to be sharing him on Wednesdays.

I have no problem cutting a player loose.
Here are the PHB essentia, in my opinion:
  • Three Basic Rules (p 11)
  • Power Types and Usage (p 54)
  • Skills (p178-179)
  • Feats (p 192)
  • Rest and Recovery (p 263)
  • All of Chapter 9 [Combat] (p 264-295)
A player needs to read the sections for building his or her character -- race, class, powers, feats, equipment, etc. But those are PC-specific. The above list is for everyone, regardless of the race or class or build or concept they are playing.
I'd see about moving your schedule actually.

Raiding in Wow takes alot of time, and a group effort. At least if you are hardcore about it.

Yeah I know *Gasp* evil cpt siding with the evil wow.  But really, I think that's the best solution. Is there no other night you guys can just get together? What about Tuesday? Or  Fridays?


Shhh, nobody likes a self proclaimed pariah. ;)

Switching nights would be the best option. Presuming that 2Dskillz can't for whatever reason, a polite but firm ultimatum is the next best solution. It's a tough situation, 'cause ya can't blame a guy for trying to enjoy two hobbies -- but it is disrespectful to be so cavalier about his D&D commitment.
I'd see about moving your schedule actually.

Raiding in Wow takes alot of time, and a group effort. At least if you are hardcore about it.

Yeah I know *Gasp* evil cpt siding with the evil wow.  But really, I think that's the best solution. Is there no other night you guys can just get together? What about Tuesday? Or  Fridays?

I'd advise against this, The group should not accommodate one player who isn't willing to sacrifice his gaming day.

I'd understand if he has children or other medical needs... but this is a video game.

He has to make the choice.
On the first day gaming, my DM gave to me,one Vorpal Sword.
I'd advise against this, The group should not accommodate one player who isn't willing to sacrifice his gaming day.

I'd understand if he has children or other medical needs... but this is a video game.

He has to make the choice.



Why? Do your players ask you to Dm on Sunday Night Football? (if you like football. if not insert whatever other Thing you have that isn't D&D. Be it House night, American Idol, whatever)

Should 4 people that could probably reschedule a day to hang out, really override one player and 24 team mates?

What's going on on the other nights really?
http://guild.medialoungeca.com/index.php?action=forum The Guild I'm apart of. We're in WOW, STO, Rift and soon Star Wars feel free to register and hang out. http://sparkster11.deviantart.com/ my deviantart Wheelman of the House of Trolls, "I love it when you watch" Carrier of Section 2, 3 and 6 cargo. Resident Driver Stud God of Transportation and Lust.
I'd advise against this, The group should not accommodate one player who isn't willing to sacrifice his gaming day.

I'd understand if he has children or other medical needs... but this is a video game.

He has to make the choice.



Why? Do your players ask you to Dm on Sunday Night Football? (if you like football. if not insert whatever other Thing you have that isn't D&D. Be it House night, American Idol, whatever)

Should 4 people that could probably reschedule a day to hang out, really override one player and 24 team mates?

What's going on on the other nights really?




Because we are college students.... we have to juggle homework,fitness hours, working hours.

Actually finding a day to sit down and game is well... quite hard
On the first day gaming, my DM gave to me,one Vorpal Sword.

I would see about asking the Player whether or not they feel that D&D is an appropriate game for him to be playing. Not because he is not interested or does not pay for the material, but because another of his hobbies directly clashes with the nights your group as a whole uses for their D&D games. Ultimately, it is a decision of split-interest; is D&D more important or WoW?

I have three Players in a group of five {myself excluded} who are Hardcore WoW enthusiasts. They love WoW, and they love Raiding and Leveling. They also love D&D. We play D&D about twice a month, sometimes more depending on how empty schedules become, and everybody shows up. Nobody ditches D&D 'cause they wanted to play WoW, and nobody ditches WoW 'cause they wanted to play D&D. They get their Raiding and Leveling done prior to a D&D sessions, and visa versa. They are responsible for themselves, and their hobbies.


If your Player cannot find a way to juggle between the demands of WoW and D&D, maybe it's time to make a decision and pick one over the other to focus attention on? I'd hate to see a dedicated Player have to make a choice between two favorite hobbies, but sometimes you simply do not have the time or attention in order to spare for both.

I think I'd probably try and find out more about the player's guild. Is he expected to raid three nights a week? What will happen if he misses Wednesdays - will he just miss out on some loot, or does he risk losing his position on the A-team raids? Is he an officer in his guild, or a class leader? If you can open up some channels with the guild's leaders, it might help you both reach a point of agreement about your player's schedule.

Or alternatively, they could turn out to be drama llamas that annoy the excrement straight out of your rectum. Either or.
Or alternatively, they could turn out to be drama llamas that annoy the excrement straight out of your rectum. Either or.





No! Bad Mercaius! Bad!
I myself find it quite ridiculous.  though I do not enjoy WoW or any other MMORPG, so I am a little biased in that regard.

If you want to keep him as a player I would see if moving game night works for EVERYONE.  Though shifting around everyone's schedule to fit around his video game schedule is more than ridiculous.  If this does not fix things then he has to make the choice, video game or real life friends.  I find usually people(Wowers, Eq'ers, etc) will choose video games. 

(If it was me I would give him an ultimatum: show up and play D&D or stay home and play WoW.)
"The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our evil as what is best in us." - Friedrich Nietzsche
I think I'd probably try and find out more about the player's guild. Is he expected to raid three nights a week? What will happen if he misses Wednesdays - will he just miss out on some loot, or does he risk losing his position on the A-team raids? Is he an officer in his guild, or a class leader? If you can open up some channels with the guild's leaders, it might help you both reach a point of agreement about your player's schedule.

Or alternatively, they could turn out to be drama llamas that annoy the excrement straight out of your rectum. Either or.



This is also a fantastic idea frankly.

I should have thought of it in my original post.
http://guild.medialoungeca.com/index.php?action=forum The Guild I'm apart of. We're in WOW, STO, Rift and soon Star Wars feel free to register and hang out. http://sparkster11.deviantart.com/ my deviantart Wheelman of the House of Trolls, "I love it when you watch" Carrier of Section 2, 3 and 6 cargo. Resident Driver Stud God of Transportation and Lust.
Hey, I play WoW aplenty. I am not ragging against raiding in general, or MMOs in general.

But sometimes, a guild's upper roster is not a list of people you'd invite over for pizza. It's a fair warning.
Though shifting around everyone's schedule to fit around his video game schedule is more than ridiculous.



And I disagree. D&D is a game, just like WoW is, with no more or less obligation then a real-life game or a digital one.
Hey, I play WoW aplenty. I am not ragging against raiding in general, or MMOs in general.



I was just teasing, I knew what you were saying! No harm meant?

I'd see about moving your schedule actually.

I would assume the group had already considered this, as the group settled on Wednesday nights already, implying it was the night they could all make it.  Trying to shift it again is something I would assume they had already explored and rejected.
Here are the PHB essentia, in my opinion:
  • Three Basic Rules (p 11)
  • Power Types and Usage (p 54)
  • Skills (p178-179)
  • Feats (p 192)
  • Rest and Recovery (p 263)
  • All of Chapter 9 [Combat] (p 264-295)
A player needs to read the sections for building his or her character -- race, class, powers, feats, equipment, etc. But those are PC-specific. The above list is for everyone, regardless of the race or class or build or concept they are playing.
Though shifting around everyone's schedule to fit around his video game schedule is more than ridiculous.



And I disagree. D&D is a game, just like WoW is, with no more or less obligation then a real-life game or a digital one.



Try playing D&D with no friends, not so easy. WoW works wonders in that situation though.

Even if they are both games, to ask everyone to change their schedules because you want to play a video game is ridiculous, and inconsiderate.  If you cannot step away from your computer for a night to spend it with your friends then you need to get a life, a real life not a digital one.
"The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our evil as what is best in us." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Asking someone to change their schedule {for any reason} so that you could go out and play D&D, is just as likely looked down on as "ridiculous", as your assertion of WoW is. And saying that people who play WoW do not game with their friends, is a huge over-generalization. But I digress, this isn't the place to discuss the semantics of D&D and WoW as imagination games, that's a thread for somewhere else.

Care to join me in the OTT to discuss it?
Asking someone to change their schedule {for any reason} so that you could go out and play D&D, is just as likely looked down on as "ridiculous", as your assertion of WoW is. And saying that people who play WoW do not game with their friends, is a huge over-generalization. But I digress, this isn't the place to discuss the semantics of D&D and WoW as imagination games, that's a thread for somewhere else.

Care to join me in the OTT to discuss it?



I think that you have missed the point.  He is asking real people to rearrange their real lives so that he can play a game, it does not matter that they are gathering to play a game or not, they could be gathering at a bar to drink (but then it would hardly matter if he was there or not), or gather to start a revolution, whatever.  He is asking them to change their lives so he can play a game that does not affect the others.  If he had to watch his daughter or had to go to class these things are different, he can stop playing WoW with no adverse affect on his life whatsoever, stop watching your daughter or going to class and you are affecting your life in a negative way.

edit start up the OTT thread and I will discuss if you think it is necessary.
"The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our evil as what is best in us." - Friedrich Nietzsche
EDIT: Sure thing Chief!

Join me here: community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/758... Looking forward to it!
Thanks so far for everyone's opinions. It is great to see such a variety of responses. taking what was said into consideration I worked up the possiblity of switching to Tuesdays. I ran it by a few other players and presented it, but now he is saying Mon-Thurs. is pretty bad.

We run during the week because many of us have families and obligations on weekends (occasionally we will do a delve on a slow weekend, but in general weekdays are what we have available) Currently (including this guy) there are seven players. Guess I will poll the group this week about the webcam play and see what flies. I do not want to make the decision alone and risk rubbing the other players the wrong way.
Thanks so far for everyone's opinions. It is great to see such a variety of responses. taking what was said into consideration I worked up the possiblity of switching to Tuesdays. I ran it by a few other players and presented it, but now he is saying Mon-Thurs. is pretty bad.

We run during the week because many of us have families and obligations on weekends (occasionally we will do a delve on a slow weekend, but in general weekdays are what we have available) Currently (including this guy) there are seven players. Guess I will poll the group this week about the webcam play and see what flies. I do not want to make the decision alone and risk rubbing the other players the wrong way.



There is no way he's -that- needed in his guild. I'd talk with his guild if possible and see what's up.
http://guild.medialoungeca.com/index.php?action=forum The Guild I'm apart of. We're in WOW, STO, Rift and soon Star Wars feel free to register and hang out. http://sparkster11.deviantart.com/ my deviantart Wheelman of the House of Trolls, "I love it when you watch" Carrier of Section 2, 3 and 6 cargo. Resident Driver Stud God of Transportation and Lust.
I hate to say this, but just tell him that he's welcome to show up on the nights when he can make it and STAY. But if he's going to bail on the game then, unless you're ok with him ditching in the middle of the game, not to bother coming.

It sounds like he's picking WOW over D&D, and that's fine. But your group shouldn't have to adjust their lives for him (4>1) nor should his raid have to adjust their schedule for him (24>1). Its up to him to pick which game he wants to play.
I_Roll_20s @twitter. Not always SFW. I may prefer 4e, but I will play and enjoy almost any edition, and indeed almost any table top RPG, with my friends. Down with Edition Wars. Shut up and roll your dice. :P
As one who spent almost a year raiding in WoW in a guild while also keeping a couple of D&D campaigns going, I can see both sides of this issue.

In my case I simply had to decide what my priorities were. I decided that playing D&D was more enjoyable than playing WoW and so worked my guild raiding schedule around my D&D commitments.

That meant I was not on the "A" team for raiding, although there were many times an "A" team member was missing while I was available, so I got to do quite a bit of "A" team raiding anyway. Our guild raided three nights a week. The only time raiding got in the way of D&D is when some reason came up that we couldn't play D&D on a regular night and someone wanted to move it to a night I was already scheduled to raid. In those situations I had to honor the commitment I made to raid, so on occasion we skipped a week due to an inability to reschedule a session.

Eventually I got tired of raiding in WoW. It's fun and I'll probably get into it again at some time, but it's just a rat race for gear at root. It's fun to experience the raids themselves and there's definitely a sense of pride you can gain from performing up to the "A" team level in a raid so that you are invited to come back. But eventually for me it just wore thin because it was just the same thing over and over and over.

My main memories from that period is that virtually all of my D&D sessions were fun nights with good company, laughing and just enjoying ourselves, but some significant percentage (30%?) of our raids were filled with angry raid party members, guild soap opera moments and major frustration when someone (sometimes it was me) simply couldn't perform their role that night and it was one party wipe after another for hours.

So I'm pretty happy to be back with WoW not interfering with D&D again...

It sounds like this guy has made the opposite decision and has decided that WoW is the king of the hill. The problem is that there's no second team D&D group for him to play without the time commitment that playing D&D requires. So he's letting his D&D "responsibilities" go unfulfilled. Until that changes I don't think he's going to be able to do both without creating some difficulties for the D&D group.
Sorry, this is going to be terribly wordy because I was in a very similar situation not too long ago and have some strong (and fresh) feelings about it. Allowing one specific player derail the work I put into our campaign was disheartening for me and frustrating to everyone.

I completely disagree with folks claiming that it's somehow "ridiculous" that a handful of other people are being "put out" because your group is thinking about changing its gaming day. Short and to-the-point: you game on the day that works for everyone -- but to a point.

If someone has a more powerful interest in another game that isn't D&D, that's not negative or inconsiderate. That's their preference. Just because their preference isn't in-tune with yours doesn't make them inconsiderate or selfish.

Inconsideration and selfishness occurs while trying to bend someone to your beliefs and preferences while simultaneously disregarding theirs.

If he wants to play D&D, he'll join the group. It sounds like this guy's doing nothing more than making excuses to play WOW over D&D. It's obvious he prefers WOW over D&D. In my honest opinion, it's time to drop him.

What's the point in trying to force a player to pay more attention to D&D instead of what he'd rather be doing? It doesn't make the game more fun when you've got a player whose head is in the clouds, thinking of something other than what's going on.

Above all, forcing him to play when his attention is obviously elsewhere is unfair to other players. Why should they have to put up with his feigning interest and constantly steer him back on-course? I sure as hell wouldn't want to play babysitter.

As a matter of fact...

I hate to say this, but just tell him that he's welcome to show up on the nights when he can make it and STAY. But if he's going to bail on the game then, unless you're ok with him ditching in the middle of the game, not to bother coming.



Right on. Tell him you understand he has more interest in WOW. Though his preference is his preference, make sure he knows that his constant disinterest and excuses are unfair to everyone else -- including you.

In my group's first go-round in 4th edition, we invited two inexperienced players to join our group. My girlfriend (who had absolutely no idea what the hell the game was about) and another friend most of us have known since high school (now almost 15 years ago). We'll call him Tim.

Surprisingly, my girlfriend picked up on it much quicker than Tim. She was slinging magic missiles left and right. She knows what defense scores are. She knows her way around a d20. She was willing to learn the game.

Tim, however, was constantly distracted. Sure, he bought a few books and found many user-generated character sheets and aids, but he never bothered to learn the game beyond rolling six ability scores, picking a race, and picking a class. As long as he rolled a few numbers and plugged them in on the proper blanks, the spreadsheet did the rest of the work for him (it didn't, but he didn't bother to learn that).

Tim was far more interested in wandering off. Football, Facebook, web-based MMORPGs, email, you name it. When time came for him to act in the initiative, Tim was rarely in his seat with a plan.

Tim was the reason we began using the "one minute rule." Players had to complete their turn during battle in one minute. Except during special circumstances, most everyone else had no problem adhering to the one minute rule. Tim, however, blew opportunities and actions all the time. On one occasion, it almost cost his companions their lives.

It was incredibly frustrating to me. I was converting a 3.5 edition adventure to 4th edition rules. When we weren't together playing the game, I was busy crunching numbers and making sure the game would run as smooth as possible for our next session. Having a player almost totally blow off the game and distract and annoy other people while doing so was really making me angry.

It was incredibly frustrating to one of my most experienced players (we'll call him Eric). Whenever it was Tim's turn to act, he would hand his power cards over to Eric and say, "Can I do this? Can I do this? What about this? Can I do this?" I'm certain he screwed up at-will/encounter/daily every time his turn to act came up.

After a while, I grew tired of constantly playing sheepdog to his wandering. Why should I keep steering him back into the game? Why should other players bother with keeping him on-task? Before long, he became a follower with very, very little input. We were all very happy with ignoring him.

The reason his disinterest bothered me so much was because he constantly made a big deal about playing the game. When time came and we all gathered, he rarely displayed the same enthusiasm. The rest of the group and I came to the conclusion that he wanted to be present just to be a "part" of it, even though he didn't play a part in it.

We concluded our first adventure. He was not asked to join us for our second adventure.
We had problems as well with a disinterested player (that insisted she was enjoying every minute)... not quite as bad as the above - she was usually at the table, just 'checked out' and not paying attention and then would do the craziest things that went against what the party had just decided without saying anything during the discussion.  We did eventually have to ask her to leave the group after talking with her multiple times.

I do a lot of work with encouraging behavior change, and one thing we were taught to do - that I have found most useful in "real life" - is something called develop discrepancy.  In other words, say in a very neutral tone of voice the duality of what you are seeing: "You know, Tim, I hear you talking all the time outside the game about how much you love it, and how much fun you're having, but on the other hand, when we are playing you don't seem to be paying much attention.  You miss a lot of actions and are always doing other things, and that takes away the fun from other players and also from you."  Then pause and listen to his response - it's likely he'll talk himself into being more focused during sessions. 

You can also take the opportunity to tell him that he needs to stay at the table and off a computer - and learn what his character can do - so that he can have as much fun as possible as well.

Edit: this was addressed to the post just previous, but could also be used to open a discussion with the WOW player.  "Listen, you're saying that you really want to play D&D with us but on the other hand you seem preoccupied with WOW while we're playing.  I understand you feel an obligation to your guild and enjoy playing WOW, but we don't have a lot of time to play, so if you want to play D&D we really need you here 100% and save WOW for the other nights."
Dave Arneson, on DMing: I was a little naive when we started playing Blackmoor (in 1971), I thought, as a GM, "I will be in control of the situation... I'm the referee!" Ha! Right...
As for the OP: see about changing the gaming schedule to run 6-8, allowing a 30 minute overflow.

The player gets his raid 9another group effort) without much inconvenince - if the others players cna make it at 6.
My colors and decks
I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

whatcolor_isblack.jpg
Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Pilot of: Thrullilicious Bats in the Belfry Glittering Totem Citadel of Barbs Thallid Salad Spreading Slivers Swamped Hardheaded The Big Green Kobold Fire, Fire! The Eyes of Deception It's Complicated Candyman Faceless How to Annoy Friends and Alienate Enemies
Where's the fun in that?
Considering I was in a similar situation...

Get together and see if you can find a time that dosn't interfere with his WoW play.  The unfortunate thing with WoW raiding is that it is highly time consuming.  Not just in the raiding (which can take several hours) but in preparing for the raid..getting all the consumables that you may raid with.

So if he's a worthwhile player, work with him, try to get a time that his WoW gaming won't overlap your D&D gaming..same as you would for anyone who has any other hobby.  But if WoW is taking up so much time that you can't game when he's not WoWing, tell him right up he needs to make a choice.  It isn't fair to all of you if he plays WoW while D&Ding...its also not fair to his fellow raiders if he's off focus during a big event, as all of them (anywhere from 9 to 24 other people) would be counting on him to do his part and not waver attention.

That's my take on it.
Bahh.  

Boot him.  Be kind about it, but boot him.  

He's going to have to make a choice here, and if his choice is WoW, so be it.  If hanging out with RL friends means more, so much the better.  I guarantee that his RL friends are going to be the ones he's still in touch with 20 years from now.  WoW friends?  Not so much.  

All this smarm about WoW raiding being so important is just so much horse crap.  Online games come and go.  They are fun, certainly - but they're no replacement for RL.

  T 
Yeah. I did just kill your BBEG with a vorpal frisbee. Problem?
All this smarm about WoW raiding being so important is just so much horse crap.  Online games come and go.  They are fun, certainly - but they're no replacement for RL.



You say Tomata, I say Tomato.
Considering I was in a similar situation...

Get together and see if you can find a time that dosn't interfere with his WoW play.  The unfortunate thing with WoW raiding is that it is highly time consuming.  Not just in the raiding (which can take several hours) but in preparing for the raid..getting all the consumables that you may raid with.

So if he's a worthwhile player, work with him, try to get a time that his WoW gaming won't overlap your D&D gaming..same as you would for anyone who has any other hobby.  But if WoW is taking up so much time that you can't game when he's not WoWing, tell him right up he needs to make a choice.  It isn't fair to all of you if he plays WoW while D&Ding...its also not fair to his fellow raiders if he's off focus during a big event, as all of them (anywhere from 9 to 24 other people) would be counting on him to do his part and not waver attention.

That's my take on it.

Modern raiding in WoW is decidedly light on farming time. A good raiding guild earns nearly enough money from raiding to pay for all repairs and consumables used, so to replenish you just go to the auction house and buy some herbs / fish and mix it into potions, flasks, and food and you're set for a month after an hour's work. If your guild doesn't fairly distribute money from BoE epic sales then you'll have to supply money of your own to do this, but even then it's not a terribly big deal to earn gold any more.

All things said and done, him choosing to farm over playing D&D would be a big fat issue. He can do that at any time, and it's not even remotely time consuming. I don't think that's the case, though.

One other point I hadn't seen mentioned: If you can tell that he's distracted by WoW while playing D&D, trust me the people he's playing with in WoW can tell he's distracted as well. If he's trying to do both at once, he's disappointing both you and his WoW guild. He really does need to pick one to use his time with.

Another thing is, while this is going to depend on his level of severity of raiding (do you know his guild's name and server? I could look it up easy) most of the time being slightly late to one raid night a week is not a big deal, especially if your guild knows ahead of time that you'll always be a bit late on Wednesdays (in this example). He doesn't even need to tell him why he's late, just say he's got other stuff he has to do and he won't be able to get on til ~9:15 on Wednesdays. While I can't profess to know all the guilds ever, for most that would be perfectly fine, although if he's in one of the top20 guilds going for world first kills etc. it could cost him his raid spot. (But if he were in that kind of guild he'd have a 5 day raid schedule 5 hours a night most likely, and he doesn't appear to have that.) Still, this is easily the best compromise here. If his raid starts at 9, and your D&D ends at 9, just have him tell them he'll be a little late every Wednesday and the conversation is done.
"One skilled at battle takes a stand in the ground of no defeat And so does not lose the enemy's defeat. Therefore, the victorious military is first victorious and after that does battle. The defeated military first does battle and after that seeks victory." -- the Art of War

I like all the assumption that the guy can't possibly be actual friends with any of the people he plays WoW with.  I mean it must be completely outside the realm of possibility that he may know some of these people face to face (i.e. IRL friends).  I'll grant it's unlikely that the WoW player knows everyone else he raids with, but all the dismissive talk about how the guild members are somehow inferior to "real life" friends is annoying.  I used to play WoW with my real life friends on a regular basis and have developed so called "real" friendships with people I originally met through the game.  Some of you need to get over your elitist attitudes on what does or does not constitute a friendship.

To the OP: your friend is a full time WoW raider.  Right now there is enough raid content to challenge top guilds for several nights and it's likely that your friend is not in a top end guild, which means there is definitely enough content to challenge a guild such as the one he is likely in for 3 to 4 nights a week.  I echo the advice of others to either move the game night or let him go.  If you opt to let him go, try not to make a federal case out of it.  Wish him well with his WoW raiding and let him know the door is open when he's ready to DnD full time. 

[sniff]

Sorry to be annoying, but it's true.  If I had sympathy for your plight, I'd offer it.

I don't.

If he actually knows some of these people, then by definition they are RL friends.   Then he's gotta pick which activity is more fun, and be done with it.  

But if it's RL breathing friends around a table with drinks, snacks, versus some online game where raiding is going on constantly to win a few pixels with a keyboard, mouse, and people on TeamSpeak, no contest.  RL wins, period, end of story.  

Saying otherwise is like saying your regular webcam girl is better than a real gf because for your $$, at least your wc girl is sure to get her panties off.  

If he can't decide which game needs his full attention, decide for him.  Like I said originally, be gentle with him, but boot him.

  T 
Yeah. I did just kill your BBEG with a vorpal frisbee. Problem?
He wants to play D&D with you; he really does. It's just that he feels that his WoW time is more important. He isn't being selfish. Quite the contrary, actually. If he is a serious raider, there are 24 other people that depend on him to be playing at his fullest, and it's highly likely that these D&D days are interfering either directly or indirectly (for example, if he needs to farm for consumables or what have you) with his rigid raiding schedule.

What you need to do is either move your schedule around to accomodate his tight raiding limits, or quite simply kick him out of the group. If your friend is like any WoW player I know, there is no way he will abandon his guild, even for a short while, to play with you. Even if he does, he is going to be ansy about it, and he probably won't be able to really get into D&D while he has WoW on the mind.

You said it very clearly yourself; he is extremely devoted to D&D, as long as it does not interrupt WoW. What you are doing by having gaming nights fall on raiding nights is forcing him to choose between two things that he most likely really wants to do, but logically he can't do both. It's not addiction; it's responsibility. He feels responsible for the success of his raiding team, and he also feels responsible for the success of the D&D party. Stop making him try to do both, and stop making him feel the need to choose between one or the other. Either switch everyone's schedule around to accomodate him, or tell him he doesn't have to participate if his raiding schedule is so demanding.



I highly disagree with this, these are games, not work or family. He must make a simple choice; if WoW is that important (I don't see why) then he can go do that, but don't expect everyone to change their schedules to accommodate someone who has an addiction to a GAME! It isn't like he is at work, he can choose one or the other with minimal consequences.

I highly disagree with this, these are games, not work or family. He must make a simple choice; if WoW is that important (I don't see why) then he can go do that, but don't expect everyone to change their schedules to accommodate someone who has an addiction to a GAME! It isn't like he is at work, he can choose one or the other with minimal consequences.



D&D is a game as well, and just as many people are addicted to D&D as someone else is addicted to WoW. There is no difference in your statement, both are games, and therefore invalid to try to justify one over the other. Do try to refrain from making such broad, generalized statements; we've seen enough of those in this thread.
I highly disagree with this, these are games, not work or family. He must make a simple choice; if WoW is that important (I don't see why) then he can go do that, but don't expect everyone to change their schedules to accommodate someone who has an addiction to a GAME! It isn't like he is at work, he can choose one or the other with minimal consequences.



D&D is a game as well, and just as many people are addicted to D&D as someone else is addicted to WoW. There is no difference in your statement, both are games, and therefore invalid to try to justify one over the other. Do try to refrain from making such broad, generalized statements; we've seen enough of those in this thread.



That is my point, they are both games and he must just choose which he would like to play. I was simply stating that any game is not a responsibility. Please don't attack someone without reading twice.