A Thri-Kreen, a Dromite and a Gnome walk into bar...

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
... and?

{Yeah, that's how bad I am at making my own threads, sue me.}
Must be a low hanging bar, then, if a gnome managed to walk into it...


ResidentDie-hard 3.x supporter! 12833.png I don't resent 4E. I just see its players as... misguided by its oversimplicity. I DO resent the original marketing for it, though.
^ Excellent.
The gnome looks sad.  So the bartender asks him what is wrong.  The gnome motions to his two companions.  "These guys keep bugging me."

Identical Games

D&D Published World foums at The Piazza (Dark Sun, Mystara, Spelljammer, Planescape, and more); Core Coliseum; D&D Material including my Master/Expert DM Competition entries

Ha!
…and the bartender says to the Thri-Kreen and the Dromite "hey, no outside food!"

…and the bartender says "no pets allowed". The gnome says "they're not my pets", to which the bartender replies "I wasn't talking to you".

…The Thri-Kreen grabs a steaming bowl off a table and chugs it down quickly. The startled patron stammers to his server "waiter, there's my soup in a fly".

…and the bartender says "we don't serve freaks", to which the gnome replies "good, we just want drinks".
Advice for DMs: When you are ad lib or improve DMing don't self-edit yourself. Some of the most fun you'll ever have is by just going with whatever crazy thing crosses your mind based on what your players are doing. Advice for Players: When your DM is ad libbing there are bound to be plot holes and inconsistencies that crop up. You'll all have a lot more fun if you just roll with it instead of nitpicking the details.
Previous Advice
Advice for DMs: Always dangle a lot of plot hooks in front of you players. Anything they do not bite you can bring back and bite them later. When considering a new house rule ask yourself the question "Will this make the game more fun?" Unless the answer is a resounding yes don't do it. Advice for Players: Always tell the DM not just what you want to do but also what you are hoping to accomplish. No matter how logical the result is it will never happen if it simply never occurred to the DM. "That's what my character would do" is not a valid excuse for being a disruptive ass at the table. Your right to have fun only extends to the point where it impedes the ability of others to do likewise.

The bartender looks to the Thri-Kreen and says 'You know, there's a drink named after you.'  To which the Thri-Kreen replies 'There's a drink named 'Herbert'?'

Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

Your mileage may vary on these jokes.
Resident Over-Educated Ivory-Tower Elitist [You don't have the Need-to-Know for that, citizen]


Excellent. These are awesome, keep 'em coming!
Your mileage may vary on these jokes.



Yeah.  My punchline would have been a lot better if the lead was 'A Grasshopper, a Dromite and a Gnome walk into a bar ...'   

EDIT: Or if I told it right.  That may have helped.

EDIT2:
Here's the actual joke:
A man walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a good drink.
The bartender offers him a "Grasshopper".
So, the guy has the drink and leaves the bar.
On his way home, he sees a grasshopper.
He looks at the grasshopper and says
"You know they have a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper said "You mean they have a drink named Irving?


EDIT3: Get it?  Thri-Kreen?  Grasshopper?  Get it?  Do ya get it yet?  Yeah, yeah you get it.  You do.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]