Punishing the Player?

I am getting right to the meat and potatoes because I know a lot of you don't want to waste time reading my campaign backround and all that jazz. Here is the jist. I am a new DM. Running a campaign with four experienced players. It is evil. Four sessions in. They are all drow in Menzoberranzan. Only one of them is female (menzoberrenzan is a matriarchy). Have gotten lots of great feedback from them so far. I love playing this game. Especially being a DM.
  Now, here are my questions. First, last session they came back from a long journey, got back to the city. They are still in tier breche, just about to graduate. Two of the players made their own house, Xe'larrezz'et'sauj (I know right, cant even say it). They are the first two sons of their matron mother. Now, I dont know how much any of you know about drow society, but men are **** upon. Women hold all the power. Now one of my players is kind of a battle hungry barbarian evil ass mofo. He is great! Makes the game a lot of fun. However, the last session this is what happened. He got back home from the journey and was summoned to his mothers audience chambers. Here him and his brother had to talk to her and their sister, first priestess of the house, was there as well. The barbarian mofo, Xauzz is his name, was all disrespectful to his sister and mother. Interrupting them, not listening, disagreeing with them... this is very bad **** in Menzoberrenzan. Soooo, keeping in character, I had the Matron order the priestess to give him and his brother a lashing for being out of line with the ladies of the house. His brother was all like, I shut up and listen, but Xauzz was like "oh baby, give me more, is that all you got, you hit like a girl..." Pretty much just talkin smack. So everytime he continued, I gave him more lashings. He just kept pushin it. So then I started giving him 1d4 for every lash. Kept pushing it. Finally, I gave him some more damage rolls and he lost some worth (I am running a worth system in the city so all players are ranked depending on what they represent and what they do) and I gave up because I didnt want to kill him and he wouldnt give up. Now, this kinda bothered me since not only did he just push it to the limit, but I feel like this was kind of unfair to the other players, who all know a lot about drow society and have been playing by the rules so to speak. Now, I have thrown out some hooks to signal that their is a group of males in the city who want to overthrow the matriarchy, and I would definately allow the party to go along and take over so men are equal with women, but that has to take time, not like a couple encounters. That is like paragon tier stuff. It has to be tough, since women rule society there. So what is more important? I want him to have fun, but he is the only one who has been all aggressive with women. (I think it boils down to some personal issues with being told what to do by women lol) At the same time, I want it to stay with the real flavor of the forgotten realms setting of Menzoberrenzan so all the other players have fun and feel the sense of realism. That was a huge part of my campaign, was to make them feel the power of the matriarchy, the power of women over society, they grip and the despair of being a man in menzoberrenzan. Now I am not trying to break anyone's spirit. They all get plenty of guy time too, with no ladies involved, but when they ladies are around, I want them to feel it, and I think the other players appreciate it too, honestly. But he just laughs at them and spits in their faces, so how am I supposed to go about this? Should I have his character beat to death? Have him lose his title as house weaponmaster? Have him cast out of his house and make him a houseless noble? Give him penalties to his character short term? Or should I just forget about the entire notion of running a campaign with the matriarchy power thing going on? I dont want to ruin his dreams of becoming the strongest weapon master in the city and being badass, but I dont want the females in the game to feel like he is out of line and not really playing by the rules of the drow. Honestly, I feel like he could use a little humility and after the last session I just want to punish the **** out of him for being so reckless and arrogant, but I am not going to let a little crazy fun make me crazy. Thoughts? Suggestions? What do you guys do when your characters are being out of line? I mean, he basically walked into the castle, told the king to go to hell repeatedly, and laughed it off. What do you guys do in these situations?
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