8/7/2013 UR: "Top 20 Flavor Text"

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This thread is for discussion of this week's Uncharted Realms, which goes live Wednesday morning on magicthegathering.com.
That title sounds a lot more like a Savor the Flavor article than Uncharted Realms. Is this series branching out? I guess I'll just have to wait until tonight to find out.

IMAGE(http://steamsignature.com/status/default/76561197995631463.png) No longer a commander as of 7/29/13.

Only one Jaya Ballard quote?  #FAIL
Lot of good quotes there, some are so far back that only I remember them. ;) Far too much representation from red and black. Some more white quotes are definately needed here.

But seriously, Killing Wave ? That flavour text doesn't make the Avacyn Restored Top 20 flavour text, much less of all time.

Edit: an example of a good card for flavour text would be Chapel Geist. Builds a little character for a vanilla flier, and is consistent with the colour. But it is the author's Top 20, so he's entitled to his opinion. 

"Ah, the age-old conundrum. Defenders of a game are too blind to see it's broken, and critics are too idiotic to see that it isn't." - Brian McCormick

I call foul on Redirect being on that list.
That's some of the worst flavor text in existence, not because it's bad, but because it's bad for the characters that are supposed to be the face of the game.
Simply put, it's not only a flanderization of Jace, it's just plain out of character besides.
No Firebolt or Werebear?  I guess I'm just a bigger fan of the punny flavour text than most.
Sea's Claim - 9th edition
Mechanic: U Enchantment - Aura, Enchanted land is an island.
Flavor Text: "Who's the crazy one now!?" - Torgle, mountaintop boatmaker
But it is the author's Top 20, so he's entitled to his opinion. 


I think you'll see that the first list was culled from high magnitude submissions on Facebook, while the second list is from co-workers.

It was a good list; while the puns and one-liners do often get a chuckle from me, I personally prefer the more insightful texts, like perhaps Blood Artist -- those texts that resonate with the card.  I also like the ones that provide deeper insight into characters, like Akroma's Blessing.  My favorite is still Frozen Shade.

http://www.nogoblinsallowed.com — A functioning forum

But it is the author's Top 20, so he's entitled to his opinion. 


I think you'll see that the first list was culled from high magnitude submissions on Facebook,



I can't help but feel that was a really bad venue in which to conduct this.
As an insomniac, I have always loved Pillory of the Sleepless
But it is the author's Top 20, so he's entitled to his opinion. 


I think you'll see that the first list was culled from high magnitude submissions on Facebook,


I can't help but feel that was a really bad venue in which to conduct this.


It could have been worse.  It could have been 4chan.

Well, okay, it probably couldn't have been 4chan because I doubt they would use that.

In any case, it's certainly an ingenious method to deflect criticism over what "should" or "shouldn't" have been included, "Whoa, guys, take the blame to Facebook."  (trollolol).

I think my favorite picks from the included lists are Stormblood Berserker, Phyrexian Hulk (7th Edition), and Imp's Mischief.

http://www.nogoblinsallowed.com — A functioning forum

Only one Jaya Ballard quote?  #FAIL

Yes, but it was my second favorite Jaya Ballard Quote, so it's completely alright.

For those who want to know what ! consider #1.... Melting

"Who needs the sun when you've got me around?"
—Jaya Ballard, Task Mage
IMAGE(http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/blitzschnell/0a90721d221e50e5755af156c179fe51.jpg?v=90000)
Phyrexian Hulk has always been one of my favs.
Balduvian Barbarians.
Hex.
GOBLIN SPY!! WHERE IS GOBLIN SPY?!?!

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, I have to add that I always loved Phyrexian Walker's flavor text as well.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
I can't belive Pernicious Deed was missed.
 
Flavor text: "The tyrannous and bloody deed is done, The most arch deed of piteous massacre That ever yet this land was guilty of." -William Shakespeare, Richard III 
IMAGE(http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a637/Duke-Daemon/impurple_zps3e279094.jpg)
Most of them are fine, although I don't know how anyone can think Redirect has good flavor text. Same for Killing Wave.

Most of these are pretty good, but I really don't care for all the "Goblins are stupid" ones.


The flavor text on Redirect shouldn't be on any kind of "good flavor text." It completely fails to represent Jace and Jace's opinion on Garruk.

After the official forums lost most of their functionality, a once vibrant community of Vorthos was wiped out.The survivors founded a new place to discuss all things concerning with the art, flavor and storylines of Magic: The Gathering. Come join us.

Good flavor text drawn from the real world was entirely passed over. A lot of good stuff was missed because of this, and stupid and clunky planeswalker-centric text preferred(?!), including stuff from Alpha/Beta. My favorite will always be Scathe Zombies:

They groaned, they stirred, they all uprose,
  Nor spake, nor moved their eyes;
    It had been strange, even in a dream,
      To have seen those dead men rise.
-- Samuel Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
"Possibilities abound, too numerous to count." "Innocent, unbiased observation is a myth." --- P.B. Medawar (1969) "Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things." --- Zapp Brannigan (Beast With a Billion Backs)

Yay, some utter classics there. Although Wave of Indifference would definitely make my Top 10.


"Darius?"
"Yeah?"
"There's a goblin sneaking up on you."
"So?"
"Just sayin'."


Oh, and Caterwauling Boggart.

I wonder if all the love of Killing Wave is a backlash against Avacyn Restored itself. As in, if you didn't hate angels before...


Most of these are pretty good, but I really don't care for all the "Goblins are stupid" ones.




These are actually my favorite kind.

My favorite flavor text is from the Kamigawa version of Uncontrollable Anger.

"To an akki warrior, gravity is the direction of the nearest unsmashed face."
IMAGE(http://pwp.wizards.com/1205820039/Scorecards/Landscape.png)
One of my favorites has always been Elder Land Wurm. I was but a teen when I first encountered it. I would love to have that card back.
Somehow this one always stuck: "I saw them once, when I was a child. They led me to my parents' arms when I was lost. Why have they abandoned me now? Why won't they take me home again?" —Unnamed beggar
from Wandering Ones.
From Near-Death Experience: Lands ravaged, cities in ruins, so many lives sacrificed, and yet there was no other word for it but victory.





I can understand why they didn't focus on the real-world quotes in this list, but some of those are great.  My favorite has always been Repentant Blacksmith, which I still say would be a great reprint someday.


"For my confession they burned me with fire / And found that I was for endurance made."

—The Arabian Nights,

trans. Haddawy
Somehow this one always stuck: "I saw them once, when I was a child. They led me to my parents' arms when I was lost. Why have they abandoned me now? Why won't they take me home again?" —Unnamed beggar
from Wandering Ones.


Ahhhh yes, Wandering Ones is also really really good.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
My personal favorite is the urza's rancor: "hatred outlives the hateful"
My favorite: it's a cross between Shadowmoore's Flame Javelin and Tenth Edition's Orcish Artillery. They are both immeasurably awesome.

Flame Javelin:
Gyara Spearhurler would have been renowned for her deadly accuracy, if it weren't for her deadly accuracy.

Orcish Artillery:
"So they want to kill my men? Well two can play at that game."
— General Khurzog 
My favorite flavor text tends to be quotes from the fictional characters of the Magic universe, as opposed to witty phrases without sources (with exception for great context) or real-world text.

Blasphemous Act
"Holy places are no longer sanctuary from death, and death is no longer sanctuary from anything."
—Thalia, Knight-Cathar

Avatar of Slaughter
"Diplomacy has solved nothing. Only bloodspill can end this now. Call forth the warbringer."
—Basandra, Battle Seraph

Stranglehold
The correct answer to a barbarian's riddle is to choke on your cleverness and die.

Pillage
"Were they to reduce us to ash, we would clog their throats and sting their eyes in payment."
—Lovisa Coldeyes, Balduvian chieftain

Sorin's Vengeance
"Cherish these last moments. Though your miserable life has come to nothing, I have given it a magnificent end."

Day of Judgment
"I have seen planes leveled and all life rendered to dust. It brought no pleasure, even to a heart as dark as mine."
—Sorin Markov
My all-time favorite would have to be Null Rod.

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The public vote seemed very biased towards recent core sets. The R&D submissions were definitely better, but (aside from Werebear and Null Rod, which were already mentioned) I would have gone with a lot more Mirage:

Thirst
The first of the Thousand Deaths.

Squandered Resources
He traded sand for skins, skins for gold, gold for life. In the end, he traded life for sand. -- Afari, Tales

Simoon
The black-and-white sacred monkey holds her children to her, and waits.

Wild Elephant
I will tell my father's stories... how the elephants trampled the leopard cub, and its father, though he knew, killed nine goats instead. -- The Love Song of Night And Day

Oh, and one of my favourites from Invasion:

Obliterate
For his family, Barrin made a funeral pyre of Tolaria.
My personal favorite is the urza's rancor: "hatred outlives the hateful"



where would the flavor v without the word battlefield ?

IMAGE(http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=12433&type=card)

Hatred outlives the hateful.
NO WAR

 

They've killed Fritz
I've been shadow banned by youtube my comments only show when I'm logged

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No love for flavor cycles? One of my favorite sets of flavor text is that of the original mana myr, which revealed a lot about the relationships between the myr and the other creatures on the plane of Mirrodin:

The leonin thought of the myr as omens, never imagining the sinister fate they foretold.

The elves thought of the myr as minor threats, just as the myr thought of the elves.

The Moriok saw the myr as fellow scavengers, never knowing just who the myr were scavenging for.

The vedalken saw the myr as toys, unaware of the intelligence lurking behind their empty eyes.

The goblins didn't think of the myr at all, which allowed the myr to observe everywhere unhindered.

I'm really surprised no mentioned Goblin Gardener. Such a classic

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To be fair, it is impossible to narrow down the best flavor texts to just 20. He posted like 40-something total in the article, and most of those were really good, and there are still a bunch of good ones that haven't even been mentioned in this thread. I think the funniest one is actually Reparations. "Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold." lol
I'll confess that I'm amazed the Aluren hasn't even been mentioned - it caters for all those that like character detail (the relationship between Squee and Mirri) and I think it's really funny!  Plus it's such a good card...
Counterspell (Tempest)
"It was probably a lousy spell in the first place."

—Ertai, wizard adept



Clock of Omens (Fifth Dawn)
Those near the clock don't hear it anymore, but their every movement is in time with its ticking.



Night of Souls' Betrayal
"How can we wage war against ourselves? What happens when the kami of our very souls rise against us? I answer simply: We cannot. We die. There can be no victory in this war."

—Sensei Hisoka, letter to Lord Konda



Prahv, Spires of Order
Prahv, where much work is done to make sure nothing is accomplished.



Dominate
"I've come to reclaim what is mine. And you, Greven, are mine."

—Volrath

Zombie Assassin.  It's perfection.

Even when the last tree falls, there will be fire.

My all time favorite, the original Black Knight

"Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose.
You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns.  Don't ask why I fight."
My all time favorite, the original Black Knight

"Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose.
You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns.  Don't ask why I fight."


I really like Blood Knight's flavor text, which was inspired by Black Knight's.

His is the fury of the wildfire, the boiling blood of the volcano. He fights you not because you've wronged him, but because you're there.

IMAGE(http://steamsignature.com/status/default/76561197995631463.png) No longer a commander as of 7/29/13.

that's just the motivation i needed
NO WAR

 

They've killed Fritz
I've been shadow banned by youtube my comments only show when I'm logged

does any see my comment here ?

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